I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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