I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
