At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Randomize
