My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
