we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
