And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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