508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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