i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
