I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
It's just like the Real World with babies
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
