I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
