i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
