dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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