the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
