I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
