My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
