New invention idea: vibrating tampons
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
