Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
