I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
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