You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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