6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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