YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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