so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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