And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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