Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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