I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
