it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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