I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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