I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
This is my life. Enjoy the view
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
