I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
