high people should be assigned attendants
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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