But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
