Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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