Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
