I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
