idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
