Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Damn victory sex feels great
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
