So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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