Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
