ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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