i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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