New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i would punch a child for taco bell
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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