And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
