i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
