How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
