So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
