but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
