im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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