Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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