4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize