There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
This is the high leading the old right now
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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