They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
