I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
