But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
