so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
