is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
