Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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