Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
