he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
