It's Friday. Sex?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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