So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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