I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
How external is "for external use only"?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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